What are Russian Women’s expectations about marriage?
 

What did I expect from my future husband?

I’m married and can tell that I made the right choice. We are happy and successfully overcame all of the difficulties of getting a visa, my moving and adjusting to a new country. Each woman dreams to be happy. Every woman doesn’t want to become divorced, and the same applied to me. I was afraid divorce, because my original parents were divorced. So I knew how it was painful not just for my mother, but also for me in not growing up with a full family.
 

Russian women
 

I didn’t have thoughts and wishes to move abroad at all, so everything happened very quickly and unexpectedly. I wasn’t going to marry at the age of 23, because I had plans to finish my education. I didn’t have wishes to receive a Green Card. To be honest, if it weren’t for my husband, I could never stay in another country. But this is another topic.

What did I expect from my future husband? What kind of person did I see and dreamed to see near with me?

Intelligent, honest, educated, kind. He should have good personal qualities, should trust, understand…..

I expected my husband to be the head of the family. I wanted to find a responsible person who will be my friend, my lover, my husband, my listener. I wanted to have security in my next day and more stability in the future.

Marriage is not a very easy step in a person’s life, so I was very careful with my choice.

I think in general, Russian women do not have very high expectations in regards to finding a marriage partner. Certainly, it is sometimes possible to meet a not-so-positive example where a woman says that if “you” will buy me Ferrari, I will marry you.

But most Russian women are looking for a good relationship and respect. Every Russian woman wants to love and be loved.
 

Russian girl
 

Read what other Russian women say about this:

- If she understands that you will go with her to the end of the world, she will marry you. It’s the truth that Russian woman dream about finding a good person. She lives, dreams, dreams all of the time about future happiness.

- Most of these dreams are taken from our favorite Russian folktales which a mother reads and tells to her children. But sometimes realities are not the same. If you read some of the Russian folktales, you will understand how Russian women grow up, and that they generally are good mothers, wives in the family.

- I remember when my mom read me some folktales, such as “Red Cap,” “Masha and the Bear,” “Father Frost,” “Wee Little Havroshechka,” “Vasilisa The Splendid.” These stories gave me gave me examples of how to be a (good girl). These folktales teach girls obedience and other values that are central to Russian culture. They taught us to stay inside the house, because it is the only safe place where ones future life can be regulated. A girl is tested in household skills – to clean the house, to sew a shirt, to make dinner and, most importantly, to hold her tongue. So these ideas get into the child’s lucid mind very easily and stick forever.

- So perhaps from childhood, a lot of girls read these books and learn a lot of things about how to be a Russian girl and woman. After they grow up, they become good wives and good mothers, and dream about finding a good man as a marriage partner. (Russian women speak about dreaming about “a Prince near with us.” They want to have a cozy, warm house full of love, respect, trust and understanding.

- I believe that all of these things are very important, and of course more important than materialistic things in our life. Sure, if we do not have enough money for food and necessary things, it can hurt the relationship. But, anyway, I didn’t expect from my husband to have expensive cars, houses, or a lot of money in his account. I think that a couple should work together to build their own home and their own needs. I believe that it’s even more interesting to receive everything together and create a life together.

Natalya Petrenko
 

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