What are Russian Women’s expectations about marriage?
did I expect from my future husband?
I’m married and can
tell that I made the right choice. We are happy and successfully overcame
all of the difficulties of getting a visa, my moving and adjusting to a
new country. Each woman dreams to be happy. Every woman doesn’t want to
become divorced, and the same applied to me. I was afraid divorce, because
my original parents were divorced. So I knew how it was painful not just
for my mother, but also for me in not growing up with a full family.
I didn’t have thoughts
and wishes to move abroad at all, so everything happened very quickly and
unexpectedly. I wasn’t going to marry at the age of 23, because I had
plans to finish my education. I didn’t have wishes to receive a Green
Card. To be honest, if it weren’t for my husband, I could never stay in
another country. But this is another topic.
What did I expect from
my future husband? What kind of person did I see and dreamed to see near
educated, kind. He should have good personal qualities, should trust,
I expected my husband
to be the head of the family. I wanted to find a responsible person who
will be my friend, my lover, my husband, my listener. I wanted to have
security in my next day and more stability in the future.
Marriage is not a very
easy step in a person’s life, so I was very careful with my choice.
I think in general,
Russian women do not have very high expectations in regards to finding a
marriage partner. Certainly, it is sometimes possible to meet a
not-so-positive example where a woman says that if “you” will buy me
Ferrari, I will marry you.
But most Russian women
are looking for a good relationship and respect. Every Russian woman wants
to love and be loved.
Read what other Russian
women say about this:
- If she understands
that you will go with her to the end of the world, she will marry you.
It’s the truth that Russian woman dream about finding a good person. She
lives, dreams, dreams all of the time about future happiness.
- Most of these dreams
are taken from our favorite Russian folktales which a mother reads and
tells to her children. But sometimes realities are not the same. If you
read some of the Russian folktales, you will understand how Russian women
grow up, and that they generally are good mothers, wives in the family.
- I remember when my
mom read me some folktales, such as “Red Cap,” “Masha and the Bear,”
“Father Frost,” “Wee Little Havroshechka,” “Vasilisa The Splendid.” These
stories gave me gave me examples of how to be a (good girl). These
folktales teach girls obedience and other values that are central to
Russian culture. They taught us to stay inside the house, because it is
the only safe place where ones future life can be regulated. A girl is
tested in household skills – to clean the house, to sew a shirt, to make
dinner and, most importantly, to hold her tongue. So these ideas get into
the child’s lucid mind very easily and stick forever.
- So perhaps from
childhood, a lot of girls read these books and learn a lot of things about
how to be a Russian girl and woman. After they grow up, they become good
wives and good mothers, and dream about finding a good man as a marriage
partner. (Russian women speak about dreaming about “a Prince near with
us.” They want to have a cozy, warm house full of love, respect, trust and
- I believe that all of
these things are very important, and of course more important than
materialistic things in our life. Sure, if we do not have enough money for
food and necessary things, it can hurt the relationship. But, anyway, I
didn’t expect from my husband to have expensive cars, houses, or a lot of
money in his account. I think that a couple should work together to build
their own home and their own needs. I believe that it’s even more
interesting to receive everything together and create a life together.